It’s been a while since the last time I posted, probably because I’ve been reasonably busy. But when I think about it, even though I say I’m busy, I still find time to exercise at the gym about twice a week and read “McTeague (or a story of San Francisco)” by Frank Norris little by little, so it’s not a matter of not having enough time. It’s more of a mental issue, as I couldn’t bring myself to write. That’s the truth.
I can say that I’m pretty busy now, I guess? It’s because I took on some work that I didn’t need to handle. I won’t discuss the details, but the deadline is approaching (and passed now). The reason why I’m not entirely satisfied with the outcome is that the department I passed the task to will not face any consequences even if they messed it up (T_T).
Since I’ve taken on this task, I want to do a proper job and produce good work. However, I need to be provided with more information within the given time frame. It becomes mentally draining. At such times, I suddenly thought: “If I hadn’t been assigned this task by my superior and the person in charge had continued doing it, what would the situation be like now?” Imagining the result is quite scary, so even if I hadn’t taken it on, I can’t escape the fear of being told on the day before the deadline, “I couldn’t do it, sorry!” like a primary school student making excuses for not completing their homework (^^). No, it’s not a laughing matter!
When I imagine such scenarios, I realize that even though I may not be perfect, I am pretty impressive for nearly completing it before the deadline. I mean, it’s quite remarkable, isn’t it? Thinking that way, I received a message from my old friend: “You’re actually amazing. Everyone knows it.” It made me happy to have a grasp on my objective value, something that I often struggle to see.